CULTURE | Toronto to host world championships in this ‘serious’ sport.

Despite the fact that I eat tacos for dinner three nights a week and think sweat pants are for watching television, in a week’s time, I could conceivably be the Rock-Paper-Scissors champion of the world. (Yes, they do consider it a sport.)

On the 16^th of October, I’m joining Rock, Paper, Scissors (RPS) hopefuls in Toronto for a highly anticipated, highly competitive world championship. And if you think it’s a joke, think again. These people take this game very seriously – and there’s a cool $10,000 in prize money.

All you need to do to participate is pay an entry fee of $21. Oh, and bring your game face.

Most of us think Rock, Paper, Scissors is a handy way to decide who gets a table at a bar.

But there are plenty of people out there who consider it a legitimate sport, worthy of training – and it’s not just the sort of guys who only come out of their basements for Star Wars Special Editions and Elijah Wood as Frodo.

Marc Rigaux, 2003’s 2nd place RPS WC winner.

Last year’s silver medalist is a guy named Marc Rigaux.

In a bizarre coincidence, I know him. We went to high school together. And I admit, when I discovered the competition and I realized I knew a participant, I was a little shocked. I wondered what had happened to turn Marc into the kind of weirdo who “trains” for RPS competitions.

Turns out, nothing happens. Thanks to our shared teen history from the days of bad hair and headgear, Marc was kind enough to explain. Like me, he just heard about the competition and couldn’t resist.

“My friend and I saw an ad for it on the web one day and thought it was hilarious so we check out the website and got hooked on how serious these guys were taking it,” explained Rigaux by e-mail. They went to the first event, and despite early elimination, thought it was a riot. Now, it’s an annual thing.

But is Rock Paper Scissors a sport?

“Do I actually get up in the morning, eat a bowl full of rocks and walk around with a sleeve over my playing hand all day?” said Rigaux when asked about training. “Of course not.” That said, he admits that “as a tool for deciding who sits in the front seat, who takes out the garbage, who changes the channel when the remote is lost, whether or not me or my mom would have to drive my brother somewhere, or if in fact Train 48 is actually a real show – I’ve been settling disputes using RPS almost since birth.”

So he does train.

And while he’s happy to laugh about it, Rigaux is quick to inform me that it’s important not to think of the competition as a big joke. “Thinking about it as a world championship competitive event is really funny to imagine until you actually get there and see that people have flown in from all over the world to compete in this thing,” he says. “You can’t help but try to take it seriously at that point.”

So take it seriously, I shall.

But what can I really do to prepare myself?

Rock, Paper, Scissors is just about chance, isn’t it?

Not so, says the World RPS Society (yes, there is a society). According to their website worldrps.com, only novices consider RPS a game of chance. The society asserts that “the true beauty and complexity of an RPS match becomes clear when advanced strategies are employed.” According to hardcore competitors, RPS is actually a game of wits, speed, dexterity, and strategy.

This may be so, but last year Marc Rigaux managed to take second place despite the fact that, by his own admission, he was literally too drunk to throw anything but Rock. (In his extremely inebriated state, he threw an unprecedented number of Rocks in a row – when done deliberately, such a series is called an Avalanche – but he says it probably lost him the competition.)

There’s a lesson in here somewhere. It may be Stay Sober Long Enough to Maintain Your Motor Skills. There’s only one way to find out.

Cross your fingers for me.

A version of “Is Rock Paper Scissors a sport?” published in The Vancouver Sun, October 12, 2004. Original headline, “Rock, Paper, Scissors more than just a game”.  See below.

Want to know how the competition went? Head here.

Published October 12, 2004 in The Vancouver Sun, 1/2.

Published October 12, 2004 in The Vancouver Sun, 2/2.