REDISCOVERING VINTAGE FASHION | Will and Bequeath vintage fashion … for the love of clothes, y’all.

Red East Asian appliqué embroidery jacket by Will and Bequeath.

Hey friends. It’s been awhile.

Blogging sometimes feels like a bit of a dinosaur to me, and so it’s a bit difficult to summon the effort to do it. Will and Bequeath is taking up a lot of my time these days, and blogging just doesn’t feel necessary. Nonetheless, here I am, mostly because I want to talk to you a little about the clothes thing.

THE CLOTHES THING!

See … I used to love clothes.

I secretly loved laying out outfits.

Vintage 1980s bright red winter overcoat with velvet collar and buttons by Will and Bequeath.

I also had an eating disorder.

I still have an eating disorder. Let’s not get into it because it’s sad and hard and most people don’t get it anyway, but long story short, I’m fat now. Not because of the ED, but because of my recovery. And as a result, I have felt slowly pushed out of the whole fashion scene. Fat people aren’t allowed to like clothes. There aren’t many options for us anyway. Thrifting stopped working as a way to clothe me. I think sometimes that I got into housewares and home design shit because I wanted to hold on to the joy that thrifting brought me, but I was barred from the fashion side of things. And I bought more housewares than I ever did clothes, because I was trying to fill that hole. And then I started Will and Bequeath and as for clothes? I checked out.

A lot of people don’t understand how isolating it is to be fat.

How we are passive aggressively, overtly, obviously, and subtly pushed out of various communities and groups. Fashion is a big one, particularly for women and femmes (anyone who enjoys these aesthetics, honestly). It’s not an important one, okay, but in our sad capitalist world, being unwelcome in the arenas where so many go for comfort, however trivial these pursuits may seem (and the beauty industry is a huge one here), is really hurtful.

When nothing fits you in a traditional store, sure, you can still go shopping with your friends, but you’ll have to stand outside the dressing rooms while they try things on. There’s no point in looking at things when you know they won’t fit you. Your friends will say, “Just look at shoes/bags/accessories” but that will become tiresome. I know I, for one, couldn’t only look at so many fucking scarves.

But if you don’t fein happiness and satisfaction at this peripheral existence, whelp… you may find your “friends” begin to drift away. A fattie who isn’t funny all the time — who talks about the bigotry and discrimination they face as a fat person — who is sad that they’ve been pushed out of the communities and interests they once loved, is often a lonely one. I am a killjoy. A downer. A fun-sponge. I know it. But I couldn’t pretend. And thin people don’t like to think about their privilege. That’s how it was with me. I lost friends. The door to that part of the world closed.

I decided vintage fashion, and fashion in general, just wasn’t for me.

This was the way it was for a long time. I was busy with my kid and being a mom anyway. My daughter is very smart and very intense and seems to require a lot more parental attention than most of the children I know. (SO MUCH MORE, JESUS MURPHY.) So I told myself I didn’t have the time anyway. Then, this year, I decided to truly let go and get rid of some of my (amazing) vintage clothes. I was never going to be thin again, so why not downsize?

I started going through boxes, but the vintage stuff I had was just … too good. It was too good to donate! Just laying it out again kind of threw a hook into my (seemingly dead) fashion-loving heart. The thought of tossing it all made me sad. I wanted to sell some of it, at least. But Etsy (my mainstay for housewares) didn’t seem like the right venue for vintage fashion. And some of my items weren’t “true vintage” anyway.

Red leather pocketbook wallet by Will and Bequeath.

I started looking into Poshmark.

I met a local fashion reseller named Alex (find her on Poshmark here, on Instagram here – she does a lot more casual, contemporary brands than me, so maybe that’s your thing), and asked her advice. Was there any point in trying to sell true vintage on Poshmark? Was it really just for contemporary brands? She was so encouraging. Sweet, and full of kind and helpful tips. Poshmark is not the most intuitive platform, but I gave it a go, and slowly slowly things started selling. Vintage does sell on Poshmark, but it’s a niche category. Peppering in newer items helps.

So for the first time in at least a decade, I started shopping for clothes again.

It had been such a long time since I’d even walked the clothing aisles of a thrift store. I preferred to keep to the perimeter. Dressing rooms felt evil. But I tentatively dipped a toe in, figuring if I wasn’t shopping for myself, I didn’t have to worry about sizing, didn’t have to worry about trying on. I could just play, find things I liked, put things together. Fill out my Will and Bequeath Poshmark storefront.

I’m sure it sounds really silly, but this has been so incredibly lovely for me. I feel like I’m allowed to enjoy vintage fashion again. And no shit, it’s kind of been … amazing? Transformative? The most fun I’ve had in ages? All of those things.

Being excluded from this arena has been more hurtful than I’d realized (or maybe acknowledged). I told myself for a long time that fashion was stupid and who cared anyway, and I was above such trivial pursuits. But really, it was a loss. I feel that loss now, but I also feel the relief of getting something I used to love back again, and that has been the best.

1990s true red bespoke peplum suit by Will and Bequeath.

Rediscovering fashion has been so strangely comforting.

I’ve got 200+ items up for sale now in my Poshmark closet. When an item is truly vintage, I cross list is on Etsy as well. And like I said, things are selling. I just stock … stuff I like. Stuff I’d wear, stuff I DID wear (when I was thin, mostly), stuff I’d lay on my bed and pretend to wear. Sizing is all over the place, because I find what I find and it is what it is, but I endeavour to find good vintage fashion in so-called “Plus sizes” whenever I can. (This is not easy.) But we deserve fashion too, right? Don’t we?