DECORATING | The One Room Challenge comes to a close. Here’s my big bathroom makeover reveal!

Whelp. This is it. The big bathroom makeover reveal. I am feeling good about it in real life, but frustrated about in terms of the photography. I am just SUCH a crap photographer, and in such a small space, with such limited electric lighting, it’s really hard to take a pic that captures how this space looks to the naked eye.

Would you believe me if I said it looks better in real life?

It does. I promise it does.

Whatever! This project cost so little. Let’s break that shit down.

Removing the shower door (I did it myself, so): $0

New toilet, but since that actually happened two years ago, does it count? For the sake of argument, let’s say it does: $200 for the toilet

Caulking (one tube): $6

Razor blade tool and extra blades to remove old caulk: $4

Painter’s tape to get straight lines while caulking: $6

Paint (I already had it on hand, and I made a custom colour mix at home, but were you to need a small can, they run, what? $15-25?): $22 (if you go for the good stuff)

Flora/Bird Opahlhouse Shower curtain from Target: $20

Heavy duty clear shower curtain liner: $12

New caddy to hold products: $15

New soap dispenser: $17

Vinyl for inside the medicine cabinet: $1

Barbara the vintage bust, Facebook Marketplace: $40

Two mirrors etched with peacocks, thrifted: $6 (total, not each)

Round gold Florentine mirror, thrifted long ago: $3

Pothos plant: $0, got it from a swap group

Plant pot, emerald green glass drip dish, and macrame plant holder, all thrifted: $7 total

Ceramic hand cup (from my pal Phineas Street Vintage, sourced from Round Apple Vintage): $0, gifted

Art print of a painting by Cal Massey, 1981, thrifted: $3

New bathmat: $27 (which I may return)

Small portrait by Stephanie Steinhardt (print from a series of postcards I bought, which cost about $25 total including shipping for ten): $2.50

Yellow leather frame, thrifted: $2

Metal bees, from Facebook Marketplace: $15

Light switch cover from a salvage centre a few years ago: $0.30

New light fixture: Free, from a neighbour

So total cost, and remember this is an over-estimate that includes the toilet I actually bought two years ago as well as stuff like the paint and thrifted items I had on hand:  Under $450

If my photos may make the room seem smaller that’s only because I don’t stretch them, like dishonest real estate agents do.

Removing the shower door was really the thing that made the biggest difference in terms of how clean and open the room feels. Most of all, though, I am happy with the things you can’t see in any of these photos: The interior of the medicine cabinet, which I covered in vinyl and now feels so much cleaner and brighter; The heavy duty clear shower curtain liner that no longer blows in and sticks to our legs; the scrubbed tile that no longer feels disgusting. The toilet, which yeah, we’ve had for two years, but is such an improvement on the old one that I am grateful for it on the daily.

Basically, the best parts of this makeover are the ones that aren’t really decorative.

But there are a lot of little things worth mentioning. Things that were deliberate, but that you may not notice without me pointing them out to you.

Like, sure, the green paint DID make the room feel a lot more dark, but I added the vintage mirrors to help with that. At the same time, the thing about the mirrors is that the placement reflects details that would otherwise be hidden. Like here, you get to see the vintage emerald glass dish that I’ve got under the pothos plant, as well as the patina on the old terra cotta pot. You can’t see those little things head-on.

And I love those things.

And see the light-switch cover? (That’s actually the fan switch.) That was thirty cents at a now-defunct local salvage centre. It’s so perfectly midcentury and it’s a really small thing, but I love it so much. Thirty cents!

The art means a lot to me, mostly because it’s just in keeping with the kind of thing I like to collect: portraits of women.

But in terms of the framed wall art, I went with prints, not precious paintings, which feels kind of key for a damp, steamy bathroom.

I had other art I was definitely tempted to use in here, but practicality won out. This is a working bathroom, and my kid and husband definitely can not be trusted not to make it very very soggy on occasion.

So the art – specifically the small portrait by Stefanie Steinhardt, shown here, and on the West wall, a print of a painting by Cal Massey, which you can see in the slideshow at the bottom – is meaningful to me, but also not precious.  Massey was a prolific Black artist who passed away just last year at the age of 93.  I love his work and I love that piece, but it’s literally just a page cut out of an old book (not by me!) and I thrifted it for just a few bucks, so I don’t worry about having it in a bathroom.

Speaking of art, we definitely need to talk about Barbara the Bust.

Barbara is amazing, right? She is HUGE for one thing, and takes up a lot of space in a room that doesn’t have a lot of space, so I get that she’s a weird choice in here, but I just love her so much. When I tried her here on a whim (not expecting her to work AT ALL), somehow this seemed exactly right. I worry a little that the damp could be bad for her, but we are being careful (as far as we can be, see above) and so far things seem fine.

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that when I got Barb (her name is on the base, by the way, I didn’t name her), her nose was broken (shorn off at the tip). I replaced it with semi-dried out wall Polyfil spackle that I used like clay to form a new tip. I used a little glue when attaching said new tip, and didn’t rely entirely on the spackle’s natural adherence. One it was dry, I sanded the edges a bit to hide the seam, and then I coloured it over … with a black Sharpie.

Ya, that’s right. BLACK SHARPIE.

Because I AM ALL CLASS.

Don’t ask me how it turned out so perfectly, but it did, and I am ridiculously proud of myself for making it happen.

Barbara is maybe my favourite piece in my entire art collection.

Now … about the One Room Challenge in general.

Despite the fact that it’s touted as group support, and NOT a competition, and despite the fact that everybody touts how incredibly friendly and wonderful it is, I’ll be honest with you: there is a deeply competitive vibe to the ORC, with a thin veneer of sisterhood laid on top. Don’t get me started on the absolutely toxic “link up” process. It’s rabidly competitive, and completely ridiculous. On the whole, the venture is also very white (obviously) and seems skewed to provide the most support to those who … don’t actually need support? I dunno. (Financially, but also in terms of promotion and reach.) It feels pretty cliquey. I don’t know that I loved participating or how much I got out of it. It was motivating, but maybe only because of the inherent competitiveness. I definitely didn’t really feel much of the advertised love, support-wise, though I did try to provide a bit of that to others.

As I was generally beneath the notice of many other participants and organizers, it wasn’t exactly bad, just a bit of a letdown. And it’s possible I went in with expectations that were too high, or not well-enough informed. Had I more to offer in terms of influencer power, or were I more inclined to throw money around (They SAY you don’t need professional photos, but I mean, look at mine. They’re butt! Should I buy a better camera? A lighting rig? Hire someone? I don’t have any money, y’all!), or were I more willing to take on renovating for the sake of renovating, I would have had a fairly different experience. Being ignored is a blessing, really, but it’s also kinda obnoxious to experience, if that makes sense.

I know it’s taboo to say any of this, which is probably part of why I feel like I don’t fit in so well.

And even saying that – expressing a general sense of unbelonging – opens me up to the usual response, the knee jerk reaction of all cliques, which is to imply that it’s A) all in my head, or B) really the result of my own bad attitude. It’s a defence mounted by gaggles of mean girls who serve up fake smiles and call you “sweetie” since time-immemorial, probably since the very first cheerleaders ever walked the face of the earth. I don’t accept it, but I am well aware that it’s what plenty of folks will be thinking now that I’ve dared to say that this wasn’t a perfectly perfect experience and oh-my-goodness-I-feel-just-so-blessed-and-lucky-to-be-here-lil-old-me-and-may-I-lick-your-boots?

My bottom line opinion is that there IS value to doing the One Room Challenge. It can be fun and motivating and I don’t regret it, but were I to try again, I’d dispense with expecting all that much genuine friendly encouragement or support.

Unless you’re already in the clique, don’t hold your breath that the ORC constitutes an open door, basically.

In the end, I think the key thing for me is that my house is a working house and this is a working bathroom.

Not just during the pandemic, but always. I have worked from home for about fifteen years, and for the past several years, my kid has been here with me full-time as well. These days, my partner is home too. It’s not a huge house, and while there is a powder room, this is our main bath. That fact informed a tonne of the decision-making that went into overhauling this space.

Will I keep the green walls? Honestly, I don’t know. They are cool, but I may well re-paint the whole room white at some point. Our maybe I’ll half paint it and leave a bit of green like the colourblocking I have going on in the living room. Who knows? That’s the thing about makeovers like this one. Nothing is ever set in stone.

Except those pink tiles. Those are cemented in like nobody’s business, and barring some unanticipated disaster, I will never change them.  Save the pink bathrooms!

Kay. Bye. One Room Challenge Spring 2020 OUT.

One final thanks to Linda Weinstein (creator of the One Room Challenge) which, despite my criticisms (mostly just about the vibe some participants bring to the table anyway), is a cool endeavour with tonnes of cool participants, and thanks also to Better Homes and Gardens (official sponsor of the ORC).

Click here to see all the guest-participant reveals. 99% of them are way better than mine. My personal favourite guest participants are Tiffany B. of My Eclectic Nest,  Jenasie Earl of Ms Vicious Design and Natalie Papier of Home Ec Op.

Click here to check out the featured designers. My favourite is Kate of Kate Pearce Vintage. I just think she has the most amazing style.

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See all my One Room Challenge posts here.